Love and Sex

12 Surprising Safe Words That Real People Use

There comes a period in many couples’ relationships when you want to make your sex life a little… hotter. Once you’ve learned how to make each others’ bodies feel good, you can fall into a terrible rut. Trying something new between the sheets demands trust, an open mind and lots and lots of communication. That’s where the safe word enters in — a term that both parties agree indicates halt. No, honestly, stop. A safe phrase is undoubtedly going to come into play when things are getting rough and kinky. You may not think you need one before you go on your sexy night of fun, but in the heat of the moment, you’ll be pleased you planned ahead.

How to Be Supportive of Your Partner’s Kinks Without Making It Weird

Clarisse Thorn, author of BDSM & Culture: 50 Shades of Stereotype and The S&M Feminist, describes the intended usage of a safe word. “When two (or more) individuals have a BDSM encounter together, normally they set a safe word — a word that anyone can utter at any time to stop the action.”

Safe words can work for any pair, in any relationship, in any setting or kink. It’s all about feeling relaxed in knowing you are giving your partner consent and that you can always check in to make sure everyone is digging what’s occurring in a sexual session. There’s no way you can explore the most gratifying and thrilling portions of your sexual fantasy without ensuring sure all participants are comfortable and happy.

The next time you get wild in the bedroom, consider one of these true safe words to use when the going gets rough.


A favorite safe phrase of one female Redditor, however you don’t have to say it three times.


Michael and Jan’s safe word on The Office Was always a crowd-pleaser.

Justin Bieber

One Redditor explains, “We needed something sure to deter anyone having a nice time.”

Please stop

A randomly humorous safe phrase likely to give you a chuckle.


According to Reddit, “Once you’ve crossed Oklahoma, you know the good times are over.”


Described by its user as “boring and to the point.”

More: Tips From a Sex Magic Practitioner


Because getting your spouse to stop when you want to should be as easy as pie.


Safe phrases inspired by fruit are popular for a reason: They are unexpected and effective since you’re not likely to use them in the bedroom.


One Redditor describes the perfect traffic light safe word system, “We normally utilize the traffic light system (red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for keep going).”

Road cone

Another wonderful reference to a traffic stop, signaling your buddy to apply the brakes.


A Reddit poster calls the “safe word” safe term dull but effective since it is very clear.


You May Also Like:

These Sex Positions Are So Cuddly They’re Basically Just Hugs