20 Things Every Single Girl Thinks When She Sees A Couple

Being a single girl can be an emotional rollercoaster; on some days, I really like having a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s to myself and binge-watching Scandal till 4 in the morning. However, there are times when you wish you had someone to spoon with while sobbing into that pint of ice cream. These are the stages that occur when you encounter a couple in love out in public, whether they are walking down the street or somewhere else.

1. They believe they are cute. They consider their PDA to be the coolest thing ever. You are compelled to take in this duo, who are basking in their aura as though they were royalty.

2. Why must they occupy the entire street?

3. Because you’re rushing, you now have to stroll slowly and strangely close behind them. They’ll believe you’re being creepy or doing something strange, like smelling their hair.

4. You almost feel relieved to be alone because of how disgusting this couple’s obsession with one another is. Instead of being this ridiculously mushy pair, I would much prefer make out with a tub of mac and cheese.

5. You question whether the girl is envious of your independence and capacity to spend time alone with the mac and cheese whenever the hell you want to, without some male messaging you heart-eye emoticons and pressuring you to go out on a date night instead.


6. You also feel awful for the girl’s single pals because they were left out in the cold by their friend’s new relationship. She is the worst wingwoman ever and texts her lover every five minutes when she does occasionally come out.

7. It appears that the hand-holding has increased. There are often couples out and about that think they’re cute but are actually simply disgusting.

8. After so loudly declaring how repulsive these couples are, you gradually realize that you are in the minority and begin to feel a little self-conscious.

9. You ponder whether you’ll ever make up the hand-holding pair that a lonely girl has to avoid.

10. As you navigate a sea of cheek-kissing hand-holders, you think about getting a puppy to help you fill the emptiness of loneliness that is slowly taking over your heart. Right, a cute girl at home with one or more cats is less spooky than a cute girl walking her cute dog. The canine might be the answer.

Also read: 19 Disturbing Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship

11. However, the thought immediately fades away once you realize that you can hardly take care of yourself. You ponder whether the couple who passed you can support themselves or if they are feigning emotion and romantic snobbery in order to appear in love.


12. However, you come to the realization that two people who are completely clueless about life are still preferable to one, and your thoughts shift to that warm mac and cheese, which you wish would appear out of nowhere right now.


13. You realize that dating a chef might be the answer to all of your troubles.


14. However, you then reflect that being in a relationship entails shared caregiving, and you realize that you’ll probably have to put in a lot of work for him as well. Therefore, you choose to treat yourself first. While being alone can occasionally be lonely, it also forces you to always put your wonderful self first.


15. Okay, you must be kidding. Instead than having to pamper yourself, you’d much rather have someone else do it.

16. You continue to receive several cheek kissing hand-holders! You just witnessed an ass squeeze, too! Not okay, men. You ponder whether you are the last remaining single person on earth.


17. You recall all of those awful gatherings and dinner parties where your awful couple friends tried to match you up with the most unattractive person ever and claimed that if you did X or Y, of course you wouldn’t be single any longer.


18. You ponder how long it will be before those couples, whether they be strangers or couples you see on the street. It must end for at least three of these couples.


19. You get your buddies who have boyfriends—hopefully soon-to-be ex-boyfriends—to help you organize your single escapades. You sort of feel bad about it, but you don’t really, because it sounds fantastic to have a new bitter, single companion in crime.


20. You begin to daydream about living the Thelma and Louise lifestyle, where you and your homegirl are on a mission to kill guys, drink beer, and enjoy your single life to the fullest with no regrets.