Dating may be challenging, let’s face it! Even if internet dating has grown commonplace, it’s not always simple to leave your comfort zone and actually meet someone for the first time. First dates can be emotionally charged, and you could find yourself mentally going over every imaginable pre-date detail, such as what to dress, what to say, and how to act. Additionally, even after talking to someone for some time, first dates can be unpredictable, making them quite nerve-wracking (no matter your personality type).
Dating is still the finest way to meet your future spouse and forge interpersonal ties, despite all the uncertainties and nervousness that come with first dates. Therefore, learning how to reduce tension and master “the art of dating” may help you feel more confident before starting this trip. In order to create a positive and healthy first-date environment, it may be more helpful to understand what not to do rather than memorizing a list of tips and methods. Knowing how to keep yourself secure and comfortable is crucial since information truly is power.
A licensed mental health counselor working in both Texas and New York is named Wale Okerayi, LMHC LPC. She can be contacted directly through her website and specializes in marital and individual counseling.
How to Transition from Friends to Dating, Per an Expert
In order to have a successful first date, regardless of whether you’re casually dating or searching for a serious relationship, it’s always helpful to establish your own unique dating aspirations. In order to spot the elements that don’t line up, Okerayi advises knowing what you’re looking for before you start dating. If you’re not searching for something serious but your date is, it can be a clue that you two aren’t compatible right now. Also the opposite. It’s crucial to be honest with yourself (and your date) about where you are in the dating process because dating requires reciprocal effort from both parties.
A Stranger You Feel Uncomfortable With
Think about it: First dates are naturally nerve-wracking, so it wouldn’t be in your best interest to go out with someone who has already made you feel uneasy and nervous. Okerayi emphasizes that if your date has been overly sexual, or if they’ve previously crossed boundaries, “meeting up with them may not be so fun.” Trust your gut feelings, and pay attention to whether certain situations make you feel safe or frightened.
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Finding the Consequences
Avoid the desire to nitpick everything they say, or even what they wear. Okerayi says, “If you are constantly searching for something wrong with them, you’ll find it and not be present on the date at all.” By “negatives,” Okerayi isn’t referring to being vigilant about potential mishaps that could occur. Dating demands you to be receptive to meeting new people, and even while some things may not seem “right” to you, that doesn’t imply they’re always bad and should be completely avoided.
Write Them Off Right Away
According to Okerayi, you should think about being open to a second date before making a final judgment on whether or not someone is the appropriate one for you. I would give it at least two dates before making your decisions because I think it’s difficult to get to know someone on one date (of course, barring if they make you feel uncomfortable or are damaging to you). Many of us are guilty of dismissing someone after only a brief exchange, but communication over time is the only way to get to know someone. Try going on a second date if your first one was a little lackluster to see if anything sparks. If not, you tried, at least.
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