Particularly if you’re in love and have been in the relationship for a while, it can be challenging to tell whether a relationship has turned toxic. However, it’s important to recognize the symptoms of toxicity if you have feelings of uneasiness, whether they result from a lack of trust, frequent disagreements, or controlling conduct on either side of the relationship.
A toxic relationship is what?
If a relationship makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, denigrated, or assaulted, it is poisonous.
According to Jamie Bronstein, a certified relationship therapist, “life is too short to be spending time in a toxic relationship.” “Leaving a toxic relationship is easier said than done, but trust your instinct and realize that you deserve a good relationship.”
How to Make a Relationship Stop Fighting
Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship
Here, Bronstein outlines the warning flags to watch out for in your relationship if you believe that things have changed for the worst.
Physical Abuse and a Sense of Unsafeness
First and foremost, a relationship should always make both parties feel secure—emotionally, psychologically, and physically. If there is any physical abuse, you should report it, get professional assistance, and make arrangements to end the relationship. Bronstein claims that “one is too many times.” “If it happened once, it will happen again, and it might still happen even with a therapist or counselor.”
What is a primary indicator of toxicity in a relationship? According to Bronstein, “an overly critical companion who makes you feel horrible about yourself.” There is a narrow line between having open discussions and receiving direct criticism that lowers your self-esteem. The relationship may be toxic if you discover that your partner continuously criticizes all of your actions, no matter how big or minor.
Of course, it’s wonderful to feel desired in a relationship. But expressing affection and being possessive are not the same thing. According to Bronstein, a toxic relationship may exist if your spouse is overly possessive and constantly monitors your whereabouts, disapproves of you spending time alone, and insists on doing everything with you. Consider having a meaningful discussion about trust and boundaries if you notice early indications of possessiveness (from you or your partner).
Do you and your partner often find yourself at odds? Not just disagreeing either; we’re talking about shouting, yelling, and saying terrible things. According to Bronstein, it is a clear symptom of toxicity when one or both spouses have frequent fits of rage.
Friends and Family Are Worried
If you’re unsure, pay attention to what your loved ones and friends are saying about your relationship. Your support network is there to act as a sounding board for anything you might be experiencing. Try to pay close attention when those close to you start to voice their concerns so that you can comprehend this information (rather than getting defensive). If you’re truly in love with your lover, it could be difficult for you to see what they’re seeing.
How to Leave a Toxic Relationship
Make an escape strategy once you’ve determined whether your relationship is poisonous. Here, Bronstein outlines how to leave this kind of toxic partnership in a safe manner.
Tell a friend or member of your family.
When you’re prepared to move forward, Bronstein advises confiding in a trusted friend or relative. She explains, “Your loved ones need to know what’s going on.” “Their encouragement will give you the confidence you need to end the relationship.
Find a Safe Place
Do your best to travel to a loved one’s home and stay there if there is physical abuse present in the relationship, suggests Bronstein. “Having a breakup chat with an aggressive partner in person is not safe.”
Before the breakup, speak with a therapist.
While the path forward may seem simple if you’ve already made up your mind about ending your relationship, it’s a good idea to still seek professional advice from a counselor or therapist. “When dealing with a toxic person, they may try and talk you out of going to therapy,” warns Bronstein. “They will use any means they can to keep you in the relationship; they will manipulate you and try to lure you back in if they sense you are going to leave. It’s preferable to speak with a professional first because the threat that you’ll end the relationship will wound their ego and cause them to act out.
Putting self-love first
It’s important to surround yourself with people you love and trust, work on loving yourself, and prioritize your mental health because the road to recovery after leaving a toxic relationship isn’t always simple. “Find comfort with those you love and who love you unconditionally,” advises Bronstein. “Work on unconditionally loving yourself and heal what needs to be healed.”
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: