Going back into the dating scene as a single dad is no easy feat, whether you’re recently divorced or have tragically lost a partner. Going on dates can seem like a daunting idea when you’re trying to balance your time with your children or effectively co-parent with an ex. But remember to be more excited than afraid; this is a time to rejoice in rebirth and fresh starts.
1. Spend time with your children to make the dating process smoother.
Make sure you spend time getting to know your kids, despite how you may be feeling about your ex. Make spending time together a priority; being a solo father will seem extremely different from being in a group. The adjustment when you do start dating someone will be easier if you fully reestablish yourself with your children during this trying time for everyone. This will also prevent them from feeling ignored. They may have also lost something in addition to you.
2. Avoid disparaging your ex in public.
It might be quite cathartic to vent about your ex after a divorce. Just be careful not to act in this way around the women you go on dates with. Additionally, your children will behave toward others as they observe you to do. Just don’t talk badly about women in general! Instead of complaining, adopt a “glass half full” attitude and seize the day with enthusiasm.
3. Avoid bringing one-night stands home.
It’s fantastic for you if you’re rediscovering your mojo and are finally having intimate relations with a new person. Just be cautious not to bring casual dates home. When you can actually picture a future with the person you’re dating and can picture her as a stepmother to your children, that’s when they’re prepared to return home. If you keep bringing home new people, your kids will become confused because they take things to heart. A sleepover is acceptable if everything checks out. Use your better judgment and consider what the future with a partner might entail.
4. Avoid choosing your typical type.
Since many people have a clear personality type and nothing outside of that box sparks an interest, this might seem crazy and frightening to them. But if you can, try to broaden your horizons and choose a different type! To be fair, the previous one didn’t turn out too well, so perhaps taking a completely different path will work to your advantage.
5. Talk about your goals before getting started.
It is crucial that single dads have access to the DTR talk. The “define the relationship” discussion is another name for it. Write down the characteristics you’re looking for, followed by a list of the opposites. The “don’t want” list might be extensive, but that’s okay because, as a single father, you at least have a better understanding of what constitutes a relationship’s deal-breaker.
Also read: 9 Signs That You Have Chemistry With Someone
6. Talk on the phone before meeting someone on a date.
Although dating apps are a great way to meet people, you can only truly understand someone until you speak to them on the phone. The difference between texting and talking can help you spot bad dates early on. Additionally, talking on the phone facilitates some ice-breaking and makes the in-person meeting less awkward.
7. Make friends first, then let your attraction show.
The key to dating as a single dad is “taking it slow,” but you still need to show interest to avoid giving the impression that you’re friend-zoning your future wife. When the time for intimacy does come, this will help to highlight the importance of trust and make it simpler. You can always treat a woman with kindness, playfulness, and most importantly, sincerity. A friend does not necessarily have to be platonic, but it can begin there.
8. Reconcile with your ex.
If you need to hold a ceremony to deal with her passing, go ahead and do so. Clear the air if you’re divorced and co-parenting but still need to! It’s unfair if you’re still holding onto something that doesn’t exist because your ex is your past and your new girlfriend will be your future. Start fresh and let go of any bitterness, sadness, or resentment.
9. Don’t make snap decisions.
Everyone makes mistakes and life doesn’t go perfectly. You probably already know this as a single dad. So remember to be open to single moms, and other people who have life circumstances you might not understand immediately. They’re being open and judgement-free with you, so do the same courtesy for them when it comes to their own skeletons.