Love and Sex

A Cursed Long List of Bad Pickup Lines to Make You Cringe (& Laugh Too)

It’s unclear when poor pickup lines first appeared, but nevertheless they’ve evolved into a kind of fine art. (Or the undesirable ones.) Whether you’re troll-ing dating apps or texting your SO something cheesy and groan-inducing (they have to adore you because they’re stuck with you anyway!) Finding a few phrases that are just the right amount of “woof” and “LOL” while they are at work is a terrific approach to start a conversation or reinsert some humor.

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How can you come up with a one-liner that’s loaded with puns, facts about your cat, and vague compliments but still corny enough for the other person to think there’s some depth underlying your one-liner? We’re not sure how they do it, but they do. Is there any evidence that any of these have ever been successful? Was that just irony, then?

Anyway, we hope you enjoy these pick-up lines. Just make a commitment to never (really) using them, unless you truly are that endearing.

The badness of these terrible pick-up lines is almost endearing.

Has your mum ever been a beaver? Since dammit!”

“Your breasts are like Mount Rushmore; my face belongs there,” said the woman.

I’m glad I have my library card because I’m definitely going to check you out.

“Did you fart just now? Because you amaze me!”

You just offered me a foot-long, so I asked, “Do you work at Subway?”

Hey, female. Do you speak German? Since I want to be German!
“I’ve heard you’re on the lookout for a stud. Well, all I need is you and I have the STD.

Those look like space pants. Because you have an out-of-control ass!

‘Cause I scraped my knee falling for you, do you have a Band-Aid.

“May I touch your hand? I need to tell my pals that an angel has touched me.

“Optimus Fine, if you were a Transformer,” said the speaker.

“I misplaced my teddy bear!” Can I instead sleep with you?”

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