I wasn’t as low in self-esteem as it could appear. In the queer community, where I felt attractive, seductive, and comfortable, I had found my place. I just didn’t think I had the kind of body that straight men, or even just regular fellas, would be prepared to pay for. My legs, underarms, and pubic bush were all covered with hair. However, I had my hair clipped short and partially shaved at home using pube-clippers (which never got any other use). My tattoos were on my arms.
When I did ultimately decide to do it, it was at the suggestion of a woman I was seeing who also happened to be a sex worker. She was absolutely gorgeous, but not in a stereotypical way. I reasoned, “If she can do it, I can too.”
My very first client served as my first body image lesson. He was seeking a curvy, hairy individual. I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t curvaceous or hairy enough. Only because he couldn’t find somebody fatter or hairier than me did he reluctantly agree to visit me.
I saw a number of other private clients, and none of them batted an eye at any of the issues I had been worried about. I then continued working in salons after that. I anxiously admitted to the receptionist during my first phone interview that I, uh, didn’t really shave anywhere, to which she cut me off by saying, “Oh honey, we don’t care. They will adore you if you can just tap into your inner goddess.
She was correct, too. Client after client would line up to see me back-to-back throughout my shift on good evenings at the brothel when I was feeling sassy, cocky, and confident. On bad evenings, when I was worn out or preoccupied with issues in my personal life, I would spend the entire shift sitting in the corner without receiving a single booking. It’s true what they say: your greatest asset is confidence. It’s hot to be confident. Humor has sex. And sex sells in my line of work.
I worked with a young woman at another salon who was a real tomgirl, even in a short skirt. I also believed that straight men solely desired girly-girls, and for many, this is undoubtedly true. However, this employee’s rough, boyish looks won her a lot of admirers.
This is not to imply that there weren’t those customers who preferred more conventional notions of beauty, such as the staff members with long blonde hair, lean bodies, perky breasts, and heavy makeup. It is true that the employees who fit this stereotype frequently received the most work.
I had the good fortune to work in brothels where a range of body types were accepted and there were no restrictions on your attire, makeup, or footwear. Although many places are not like this, I want to note that the sex industry does seem to favor persons with particular body types and aesthetics.
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