Love and Sex

Don’t Get Along With Your In-Laws? Here’s How to Protect Your Relationship

As the saying goes, when you marry someone, you also marry their family. However, just because you adore your significant other doesn’t automatically imply you’ll enjoy your in-laws. On some level, many people have issues with their spouse’s family. They are quite opinionated and have a strong voice in every aspect of your relationship, which may make you feel as though they don’t accept you. Your relationship may eventually suffer if there are issues with your in-laws.

Be a group.

Make sure you and your partner work together to avoid letting your in-laws ruin your relationship. This entails refraining from making any first charges, comments, petitions, etc. According to couple’s therapist Evie Shafner, “no matter what, do not urge your partner to choose between you and their family—a definite formula for disaster.” “First, learn to listen with empathy. Recognize that his or her parents are still his or her parents despite the fact that they may be intrusive, tough, controlling, etc. Your partner will be able to hear you a lot easier thanks to your maturity in establishing safe communication in this area.

Talk to your spouse about their priorities, Maggie Reyes, a life coach and marriage consultant at, advises. To put it another way, a missed BBQ may not be as significant as a missed birthday party. In order to select how to prioritize your participation in family gatherings, find out what matters to them and why.

Set limitations.

In my presence, this is as easy as asking, “What is OK?” and “What is not OK?” It’s acceptable for them to inquire about your plans to have children, but it’s not acceptable if they start making comments about your fertility or imply that your partner doesn’t want to have children with you. “Prepare your response in advance in the event that a boundary is breached at a family [function].” The stress of the situation will be lessened to some extent by having a strategy in place, according to Reyes.

Discuss your plan of action as a team with your partner, advises clinical psychologist Dr. Rebekah Montgomery. Does your partner occasionally require your interference and distraction? Do they require you to remain silent and restrain your immediate responses? Plan ahead for the little ways you will support one another. This method of approaching your in-laws will improve your relationship.

Find a connection somewhere.

It can be discussing pets or Wheel of Fortune. Just avoid talking about subjects that can elicit irate reactions. Many issues with in-laws are the result of conflicting viewpoints on hotly contested subjects. One such subject that frequently sparks arguments at the dinner table is politics. If you know tempers can flare, don’t debate these with each other, no matter what your ideas are. It would be much simpler to get along with one another if such inflammatory themes were outright prohibited, according to relationship writer and online dating expert Alex Reddle.

See if there is at least one thing you can do to lessen that intensity if you believe there is no way to connect with one in-law. “Are there any additional characteristics you could concentrate on about them if/when you need to interact with them? Just some folks don’t. It’s not for them to know why you won’t connect with someone; it’s for you to know, so you can decide what you’ll let into your life and experiences, says Reyes.

Have a strong support system and talk to them when you need to.

While open communication with your partner is essential, it’s also beneficial to have a solid network of friends and family members to whom you can turn when things go tough. The adage, “We can all say whatever we want about our families, but no one else can, ” can ring especially true in this situation. Concerns about how your partner, you, or your children are being treated should be discussed in the context of supporting each other’s emotional needs and establishing boundaries. However, if you reserve the complaining and yelling for the other supportive people in your life, that talk will have even more weight. Montgomery says.

Be truthful.

“It’s simple to imagine the perfect in-law; you wish your mother-in-law enjoyed watching the kids. She dislikes watching children. That is not who she is. Reset your expectations instead of suffering through it or hating her. To live a happy life and to be an adult, managing our expectations is crucial, according to Shafner.

In the end, you might have to accept your in-laws as they are as they are probably not going to change. When you can accept your partner’s family for who they are, even if it means preserving your distance, you will be able to start letting go of resentment.

You May Also Like:

These Sex Positions Are So Cuddly They’re Basically Just Hugs