Welcome to Better Sex With Dr. Lexx, a monthly column in which Dr. Lexx Brown-James, a sex therapist, educator, and consultant, provides her knowledge, insight, and wisdom on sex, relationships, and other topics. Dr. Lexx (also known as The #CouplesClinician) is your guide to the shame-free, medically correct, inclusive, and thorough talks for you, your partner, and your entire family. She approaches sex education as a life-long activity — “from womb to tomb.”
Seven Wedding Trends for 2018 That We Can’t Wait to See
When I entered a store, I noticed back-to-school merchandise. I’m referring to pencils, file folders, and bookbags. I immediately experienced a dual sense of defeat and anxiety. I questioned whether I missed summer. I’ve been to water parks and swimming birthday parties for youngsters, but where were the enchanting summer nights and all the enjoyable outdoor dates?
A “Hot Girl Summer” or a “Hot Auntie Summer” is all we have been hearing about. And then I understood that I had to make room for a Hot Lover Summer! Summer is still here. I want all lovers to make the most of the remaining warm days of enjoyment because there are so many more of them.
As The #CouplesClinician, I refer to anyone I encounter who is involved in a romantic partnership as “a lover.” And for couples, the summer can be a fantastic time to get closer. Most unions end around March, and problems begin when the season changes and the temperature drops. As a result, the interim period—sweet, sweet summer—is the best time for interaction, enjoyment, and pleasure.
The following three methods will grant you a Hot Lovers’ Summer:
Accept Me-Time
Start by having some enjoyable alone time.
I am aware that. This seems counterproductive during a Summer of Hot Lovers. Right, you want to turn up the heat on your boyfriend. Starting with each of you personally, it must be done. Relationship health is supported by taking the time to rediscover your love for yourself, your neighborhood, and the things that make you genuinely happy outside of your partner.
Spending time alone, with friends, or in a group allows you to create excitement and energy unrelated to your romantic partner. After that, you can share that energy with others. Things could feel uninteresting, monotonous, and dull if you confine your sweetheart for a long period of time. Spending time alone and disrupting habit might be apprehensive, but they can also be advantageous.
The fun part of relationships is that you both enjoy seeing your partner smile, so this is one method to make each other happy without having to do any work on your part. Spend some time doing the thing (or things) you haven’t been able to do, enjoy yourself, and then tell your sweetheart about it because they’ll both like hearing and learning about it.
Reminisce on the good times
Keep those traditional delights in mind as you explore new things. Bring back the memories. We’ve spent more than a year either quarantined or working under stringent rules. I am aware that many people think the virus is now gone, but this is untrue, especially for the most vulnerable people and our first responders. Everyone anticipated a dramatic increase in lovemaking after lockdown began, but sex researchers have discovered that this is not the case. For many couples, this time has delayed intimacy due to routines, anxieties, and plain old tiredness. So let’s make it enjoyable so we can escape the quarantine rut and transition to a Hot Lover Summer!
A Hot Partner You don’t have to start over completely just because it’s summer; you may adjust and switch up your schedule instead. Consider doing something different from your usual routines and including some play. When was the last time, for instance, that you flirted with your partner or secretly shared an intense kiss with the kids? Regarding sharing your arousal for one another, how are you all playing with one another? Perhaps send a naughty SMS while dinner is cooking (always get permission first!) You have some enjoyable homework to begin (yes, homework during the summer!) if you are thinking right now and are unable to think of a few instances.
To help you get to Hot Lover Summer, here is some additional homework: Give your partner a compliment for three minutes. Any and any praise you can muster. After that, spend a moment sharing them with your lover. This intimate deed can increase arousal and admiration. If you want, you may even make these compliments refer specifically to your private intimate moments.
Accept Fantasy
A phrase I frequently use is “Arousal Begets Arousal.” It’s possible to spread energizing energy, and there are occasions when it needs to be created. Not faked, but created, which means you’re generating this energy to arouse your partner’s carnal desires. Being a human is exciting because you get to decide what makes you hot. Sex and intimacy will unavoidably alter over time based on a variety of reasons, and sometimes we have little control over those changes. However, we are able to recognize, investigate, and show curiosity about our own turn-ons. To perform part of this investigating, use your two most potent sex organs.
I challenge you to tease your mind, which is the most potent sex organ we possess. You can stimulate your mind by reading, watching, acting, or even writing about imagination. The nice thing about fantasy is that it is never required to take place in reality; it may always just be a fantasy. Using your fantasies, you could encourage your partner to attempt a novel approach, a novel toy, or even a novel erotic activity. Each of these might be enjoyable to both experience and to share.
Try titillating your skin, which is your largest sexual organ, if you simply want to relax your head. A surface area to enjoyably explore is the skin. Try with various forms of touch or temperature play; the sky is the limit (as long as your partner is on board). Then, take note of it and share.
A Hot Lover Summer can be had at any time. So go spend some time alone, recharge your batteries, rekindle the enjoyable, fun, and good, and increase your level of mental and physical arousal.
You May Also Like: