Love and Sex

Love Looks Like This: We Found Love and Got Married in Our 80s

Brides is dedicated to supporting ALL couples not only while they plan their wedding but also throughout they experience the highs and lows of their relationship. There is no relationship that looks the same; every love story is lovely, has its own unique past, and faces its own struggles. Gloria Lushing and Dr. Arnold (Arny) Gilberg share their love story in our newest feature, “Love Looks Like This,” which asks couples to share personal details about their relationships.

The Perfect First Date

Gloria: Arny has long been associated with many of the charities that I have as well. He and I go way back to L.A. community. He picked on the phone 15 months after my loss in 2009 and asked me out when I was by myself. I felt anxious. I hadn’t gone out with a man in such a long time. Having said that, our first date was fantastic. Unless it was something that was truly perfect for me, I wasn’t searching for a future with another man. I’ve never even considered interacting with others. However, I entered it with an open mind. As we got to know one another, I started to love him, and now here we are.

Arny: We both feel this way. I was in a stage of my life where I wanted to commit myself to a long-term relationship. I also experienced a love affair, which neither of us had anticipated. I wanted our first date to be incredibly special. There was a restaurant in Beverly Hills that had recently opened, and there was a wait of nearly a month to get a table. It was a first date, and I wanted it to be exceptional, so I called the restaurant and asked them to try to assist me out. When we arrived on the day, there was champagne waiting for us at the table, as the hostess had assured us that everything had been taken care of.

Gloria: I was really frightened at the moment, and when we were leaving the restaurant, he asked, “Can I hold your hand?” There was a stairwell leading down to the ground floor. You can take my hand, I replied, “I feel like I’ve known you for 20 years.”

After Loss: Love

Gloria: Arny saved my life when I was at my lowest point. I came to the realization that it’s acceptable and that you may fall in love again after getting to know one another. You only get one chance at life. I was aware of how much the man, who sadly went away, had adored and loved me. I always knew he would be thrilled for me since he was always so sensitive to my happiness. Since I understood that I did not choose this, I felt no remorse. But after it had already happened, I realized how fortunate I had been to have met this man, who had so much to offer. I discovered many traits that were similar to those my late husband shared with me. How fortunate I was to discover a second opportunity at happiness, even in our 80s.

Arny: I knew her late spouse, which is the other part of the narrative. We were friendly with each other. I had not been married for at least twenty years. Even though I had partnerships in the past, my situation had changed. I didn’t start out feeling lost; instead, I knew that I wanted to enter a really devoted relationship.

A Ring and a Proposal

Arny: In a manner, there were two distinct engagements. A few years ago—maybe six or seven—I gave Gloria a ring. It wasn’t referred to be an engagement ring. It was known as a commitment ring. In the fall of 2021, we made our engagement official. It was challenging, but we started looking for a date when we could gather our entire family. Before deciding to be married, we had been in a serious relationship for about 14 years.

Gloria: I thought, “If not now, when,” and I wanted to stop being called Arny’s girlfriend, partner, or significant other. For me, that didn’t work. I was aware that I required more. When I recommended it to Arny, he was overjoyed. That was how it all began. I was hesitant to discuss getting married because I was worried about how my family would react, which is why it took me so long.

As the grandma and mother that I am, I am constantly worried about my kids and how they are doing. I am aware that it might have been a very delicate topic in their life. The truth is that they adore both Arny and me. They wanted us to choose a course of action that would make us happy because it is our lives. All we desired was harmony from every aspect. We felt so much love surrounding us when we made this choice, and I’m so glad we did.

Arny: I believe that if there are children involved, there may be some concern whether you remarry at age 35 or 85. This isn’t only a sign of becoming older, though.

Marriage of Gloria Lushing and Arnold Gilberg

A Family Wedding in Los Angeles

Gloria: Given the surroundings we are in, we wanted to keep things straightforward, respectful, and healthy. Because the Hillcrest Country Club in Los Angeles feels somewhat like a second home to us, we decided to do something special specifically for our family there. We believed that the 36 members of the family alone would be secure. It was close and private. We treated it exactly like a bigger wedding since the folks there cared about us and we cared about them. We had a musician, a photographer, and a filmmaker. Everyone was joyful, dancing, and toasting.

I aimed for understatement and elegance throughout the entire morning. No aspect of the affection I felt for you before this commitment is diminished by the fact that we are getting married. This is also what our rabbi said during the ceremony. What a blessing it was that we had to make that choice.

Arny: I had a sense of being at last at home. Because of my strong devotion to my wife, the prospect of getting married excite me greatly. It was supposed to be significant but informal.

Marriage of Gloria Lushing and Arnold Gilberg

A Fantastical Ceremony

Arny: The entire wedding was wonderful. The wedding, the guests, Rabbi Wolpe’s remarks, and the after-party. Due to how much fun everyone was having, we invited the band to remain longer. We both adored it. My favorite part of the event was watching our families enjoy this incredible time together while exchanging loving remarks. For me, it was an incredible experience.

Gloria: I agree with everything that Arny said. It seemed strange. It was surreal in feeling. Being firmly grounded was difficult for me because the situation was absurd. And that’s how I recall it: I was delighted, but I also remember wondering, “Is this really happening?” Just very fortunate that it was true.

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Dispute-Free Living

Arny: Because we were remarried, our relationship and marriage are unique in certain ways. Our grown children get along with each other all very well. There have been 14 to 15 years of this. Gloria deserves all the credit, I’m afraid. She have the skill to know how to maintain a family.

We have lived together for all of these years without experiencing any conflicts, which is one of the reasons, in my opinion, why we decided to be married. The only issue we have, in my opinion, is that my health hasn’t been great for the past eight or nine months. Between us, everything just clicks.

Gloria: It’s extremely harmonious and we get along well. In essence, we have similar eating, sleeping, and thinking habits. We value each other. It’s simple. We don’t have to put forth a lot of effort to maintain our bond. It comes extremely naturally for us to communicate our affections for one another.

Gloria: To put it simply, anything is conceivable.

I would concur, Arny. We are seniors, and our story shows that it’s possible for anyone to rediscover love.

Gloria: I had anticipated that people of our generation would question our need for this at our advanced age.

Nobody has ever told us that! Instead, they have expressed their joy for us, shared in our celebration, and said that this is a lesson about finding love at any age. I’m absolutely filled with gratitude.

cutting a cake

The Future and Thanksgiving

Arny: I’m most appreciative of my wife being there next to me when I wake up each morning. We have this amazing, loving relationship and practically every night before bed, we express our love for one another. It’s wonderful and great. Seniors can still experience such intense love, and they may even discover better relationships than younger folks. We’ve discovered what constitutes a truly loving relationship. As you age, you learn to value what you already have and lessen your concern about what you don’t.

Gloria: I don’t really have anything more to contribute to that. I adore and treasure the gift of our relationship with one another. He knows I’m there for him, and I know he’s there for me. We’re fortunate.


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