We can thank Meghan Trainor for introducing a few concepts into contemporary discourse, such as the idea that we are all about the bass (and what exactly that entails), and, more recently, the experience of pooping next to your lover. On the podcast “Why Won’t You Date Me?” hosted by Nicole Byer last month, Trainor acknowledged that she and her husband, actor Daryl Sabara, had used side-by-side bathrooms where they have defecated “
According to professional sexologist and sociologist Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., for some couples, having a “open door policy” might increase closeness by allowing their partner see everything.
“Keeping the door open for our beloved can feel private, like drawing back the curtains to look behind the stage,” the author explains. “We don’t usually go to the restroom in front of others.” “Why not?” I asked. “If you’re having a fantastic chat and want to continue, as long as both of you are comfortable, why not?”
“Why not?” I asked. “If you’re having a fantastic chat and want to continue, as long as both of you are comfortable, why not?”
Other couples might find it advantageous to keep the door open for practical reasons. Melancon claims that in her home with two young children, “It’s often easier to keep the door open than to deal with whining and crying at a closed door,” echoing Trainor who claimed that she had the two toilets installed so she and Sabara could both urinate in the middle of the night while up with their baby.
Other times, a person’s physical capabilities or health conditions may indicate how amenable they are to restroom tasks. The Friendly Vegan Cookbook author and World of Vegan creator Michelle Cehn says that having Ulcerative Colitis allowed her to “come out of the poop closet.”
Regarding her frequent, hurried trips to the bathroom as a result of the sickness, she says, “I had two choices—I either allow this to be a permanent cause of stress and misery in my personal life, or embrace it totally with comedy and joy.” “It was freeing the moment I made light of my bathroom trips and relocated the celebration to the restroom in my relationship.”
She claims that she and her companion rapidly felt at ease urinating in public and even passing each other glasses of wine “in the library.”
“It was another barrier that fell between my boyfriend and I, bringing us closer together. We take great pleasure in converting potentially embarrassing situations into some of our most memorable belly-laugh-inducing experiences.
“It was another wall that fell between myself and my spouse, bringing us closer together.”
Just be aware of the immediate and long-term implications for you and your spouse.
Pooping together, according to Melancon, can undoubtedly be a sign of codependency in a relationship. “An ‘open door’ approach won’t lead to codependency, but it can reveal a pattern that already existed. We are able to spend time apart in a healthy relationship so that we may take care of ourselves. If being alone in the restroom makes you anxious, you might want to talk to a therapist about it.
A licensed marriage and family therapist named Caroline Madden, PhD, says she “definitely” advises against using the restroom in front of your partner.
“It is challenging to go from seeing and smelling your mate poop to wanting to put your mouth in the bedroom after that. Couples who are wondering where the spark vanished frequently visit my office. It’s because they stopped dating each other and worrying about your appearance. A couple has given up on seeing each other as distinct, sexy individuals if they frequently (and not in an emergency) poop in front of one another.
Melancon, however, emphasizes that it is wholly dependent on the pair. “Everyone craps, but many couples would prefer not to be aware of it. Some people might feel more neutral, while others could believe that it improves their mood. It’s also important to keep in mind that some people have fetishes for different restroom behaviors. While an open door policy may kill the mood for some people, it hits the mood for some people just right!
Melancon advises couples to communicate if they want to have more openness in the restroom. “Try asking your partner if they have ever used the restroom with the door open while you two are dating. Find out what they think about the matter. They may not really care, but you should care, right?
She also advises doing things slowly and carefully. “Leave the door slightly ajar and observe what occurs. When they arrive, yell for them to fetch you more toilet paper and observe their expression.
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