Menstruating people almost always experience it, and it’s unquestionably a middle school horror tale: When your period starts, you are not prepared with your chosen period product. Maybe you find you’re up the red creek without a tampon paddle when at work, school, the mall, or even a friend’s residence.
It gives you the yikes. I already get secondhand shame and compassion aches.
One Reddit member described how a friend who was visiting recently had a similar experience and was upset that she didn’t have a supply of period goods available for visitors. The poster doesn’t need tampons or pads anyway because she uses a birth control method that prevents her from getting her period for a few years. But she continued to question if she was TA in the circumstance.
I’m holding a Nexplanon birth control bar in my arm for context. I’m aware that everyone experiences it differently, but for me, it entirely stops my period and lasts for [three] years.and (I’m having it for the second time.) Since we haven’t seen one other in more than a week, we were having a movie day to catch up on life. She gets up during one of the movies to use the restroom, so I read through my phone as I wait for her to come back,” the poster said. “Well, she asks me where I put my tampons when she comes back down. Since I haven’t used one in years, I said, I don’t keep one around the house. She then asked me for a pad, and I just kind of laughed and repeated herself.
She claimed she wasn’t sure if her friend reacted negatively or merely because she had nothing to contribute and exclaimed, “What sort of lady doesn’t keep these things?”
You should always keep them as a woman, right?
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“I’ve never encountered someone so careless!”
Ouch! I didn’t take her attitude to home and told her we can go to the Dollar General nearby if she wants some and that it’s not a big deal. Obviously, the outburst was a little excessive and making the entire situation an indictment of her as a person and a host went too far. Evidently, she didn’t think that was sufficient. She labeled me a sexist bitch who doesn’t have any consideration for other women and has to improve as a host. She immediately made a taxi call to go.
The poster continued by saying that because tampons were so expensive (hello pink tax! ), it didn’t make sense for her to keep them at home when she wasn’t using them.
There is a lot to unpack here, then: One, there is absolutely no justification for assuming that someone gets monthly periods or not. It’s just never a smart idea considering that menstruation doesn’t just affect women and that some people with uteruses don’t menstruate for a variety of reasons, such as using specific birth control methods, experiencing menopause either naturally or surgically, or not menstruating at all. Many menstruators may not have extra tampons or pads due to the sheer number of period products available (and the cost of many disposable ones).
(In my situation, I have been using a menstrual disc for more than a year. I adore and vouch for them. I was able to provide some of my throwaway discs, but they weren’t always what a visitor might be seeking for.)
OP tried to suggest that they should go to the nearby store together to buy some, which was the appropriate thing to do, but it appeared like her friend had already decided how the remainder of the interaction would go down. OP is NTA, the majority of the sub-reddit agreed.
Another commenter expressed concern for the future when they read that this friend couldn’t imagine someone having a different menstruation (or lack thereof) experience: “When she learns about menopause, she’s going to have a heart attack.”
But TL;DR: Having extra menstruation items is good, if you can, but it’s not required. And while going a few minutes without a tampon or pad isn’t enjoyable, countless menstruators have managed it for generations without freaking out.
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