Love and Sex

What Are Apology Languages? Like Love Languages, Understanding Them Can Help Your Relationship

Sometimes it’s more difficult to express “I’m sorry” to our partner than it is to say “I love you.” Both sentences are necessary for developing a strong friendship. Learning your apology language is a terrific tool for mending and strengthening relationships, much like learning your love language teaches you how to express and receive love.

They developed a framework that could be helpful in understanding how we prefer to give and receive apologies through their extensive research and input from real-life couples, according to Victoria Licandro, a psychotherapist in private practice in Brooklyn at Chamin Ajjan Psychotherapy. “The Five Apology Languages’ simplicity and usability are their greatest assets. Every couple has disagreements. Have you got a workable system in place to deal with it?

You can have that structure by adhering to the Five Apology Languages.

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taking accountability

Manly claims that the emphasis of this apologetic sentence is on accepting full responsibility. “The injured party requires and expects the offender to accept responsibility for the damage they caused. An illustration of an apology that takes complete responsibility is this: “I take full responsibility for forgetting we had plans tonight. I can see how my neglect of my schedule has harmed you greatly.

Conveying regret

According to her, the effectiveness of this language depends on how sincere one is in acknowledging the emotional harm they have inflicted. “Sounds easy enough, yes? possibly for some. The hardest apology to deliver, though, is one that doesn’t include any explanatory footnotes for people who have pride- and ego-related problems.

Lincandro advises making a list of the negative consequences of your actions and inactions in order to make your regret seem more profound. “Why do you apologize? simply because you were called out? Or perhaps it’s because you recognize your potential role in the unfortunate event that just happened. This language basically communicates that you comprehend the specifics of what went wrong, which will help a lot in validating your partner’s emotions.

Asking for Forgiveness

According to Dr. Manly, “The emphasis is on a prayer for forgiveness” in this apology wording. “The words ‘Please forgive me’ need to be heard by the person who feels injured or harmed. The one who is injured wants the other person to sincerely ask for forgiveness; at that point, it is up to the hurt person to determine whether or not to extend forgiveness.

According to Dr. Manly, the key to this apology language is that the person who inflicted the injury must clearly beg for forgiveness before allowing time and space for it to happen.

A Requesting Forgiveness apology sample: Please accept my apologies for forgetting our anniversary.

Sincere Repentance

Licandro explains, “This one is for the people who believe that the best apology is altered behavior. “A change in behavior is required if your partner considers sincere repentance as an apology language,” says the speaker. With this phrase, “you’re going the extra mile to indicate a strong desire for future change and eventually, set realistic goals to bring about these changes,” rather than just expressing remorse.

An illustration of a sincere apology is this: “I apologise for not doing my part in keeping up with duties and cleaning. I am conscious of how careless I have been. I’ve made a list that I keep on the refrigerator to help me remember to contribute daily.

Providing Compensation

Start with your partner’s love language(s) if you want to “make things right again,” she advises. The onus is on the offender to do the legwork, despite the fact that there are several options to make restitution.

In the end, Licandro asserts that it’s crucial to cater your apologetic attempt to your partner’s love language (i.e., acts of service, words of affirmation, etc.). By attending to their needs in the ways that are most pertinent and significant to them, you can show your spouse that you love and care about them.

A Making Restitution apology can sound like this: “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to spend as much time with you recently. I’ll make it up to you this weekend by setting up a special date, and I’m going to schedule more free time so we can talk more frequently.

It will take some practice to stick to Apology Languages and make them work for you and your partner when you resolve issues.” “Be kind to yourself as you get to know your partner and possibly make mistakes when making apologies. Even slightly flawed sincere apologies have the power to melt hearts and change lives. Don’t be hesitant to start a conversation about apology languages. The trick is to be curious and to accept your partner’s influence.

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